Struggling with loneliness is not something anyone enjoys going through.
Loneliness can be transient (short term) or chronic (long term) but either way it makes being happy and content with life difficult.
If you are battling loneliness then you may feel sad, alone and socially isolated.
All of it is difficult but it is something that can be addressed.
When you are ready to understand and work on your loneliness then you can look at the best ways to overcome it.
You can see a professional, look for medical factors, use self care or simply take small steps to come back into the social scene.
All of it takes some work but you will be happy you did.
Different Methods to Fight Loneliness
Loneliness is something that can be a passing feeling or something that has become entrenched in your everyday life.
Neither are pleasant feelings and are certainly something that need to be addressed.
Loneliness is not something you want to be dealing with on a regular basis for any length of time.
There are studies showing that is not good for your health anyways.
When AARP did research on loneliness, they found that 35% of people 45 years and older were lonely.
If that was any other issue that affected people’s health, insurance companies would be all over it in regard to prevention.
The study also showed that people who suffer from loneliness were less likely to want to join in anything socially.
Which causes further issues.
Studies have repeatedly shown that loneliness can affect the body in many ways.
It can affect a person’s mental, physical and emotional health.
Medically it can be tied to many health issues.
It can lead to metabolic syndrome that leads to obesity, high blood pressure and insulin resistance.
All which then can induce stroke, heart disease and Type 2 diabetes.
These issues can also be compromised even more as loneliness is known to be a cause of chronic pain, substance abuse along with other mental illnesses such as depression and anxiety.
It can lead to a 45% increase in the risk of death, an almost 60% mental and physical failing, Alzheimer’s and a higher chance of needing long term care as the person gets older.
With all these factors that are affected, it is helpful to know how to reach out and engage with people when you feel lonely.
It is important to create social links that can lift you up when you are feeling alone.
A group of family, friends, neighbors and more.
There needs to be work done in creating good daily habits so you can make sure you are staying active and socially connected so when you have tough moments of loneliness, you can reach out to those around you.
Steps to Find Support and help Loneliness
Admission – Loneliness is similar to depression or any other emotional issue that makes you feel bad.
But like many of these ailments, people are unwilling to admit to what they are feeling and experiencing.
They are in denial that they are truly feeling a sense of social isolation and loneliness.
It is difficult to deal with the issue if there is no acknowledgement or understanding that it exists.
You can not deal with what you do not acknowledge.
Once there is acceptance, you can begin to understand it, why it is happening and moving forward with changing it.
To work with your loneliness, you must also understand what the difference is between isolation and being lonely.
This is important in that discerning the source of loneliness may help to resolve some of the issues that may be influencing it.
If you are isolated then that means you may be living by yourself, have no family or close relatives anywhere near you, perhaps you do not often leave your home, you do not talk on the phone or online very often and overall you are alone 9 plus hours each day aside from sleep time.
However, while you can be isolated and certainly lonely, isolation does not necessarily mean you are lonely.
Loneliness is when you want to be rid of your isolation, and it is making you feel lonely.
You want to see people and have friends.
You want to visit and engage with family.
And if you can not leave the house due to lack of transportation or poor health, you still want to have others you can rely on emotionally as well as engage with.
You want to spend time with people and not be left to your own devices so often.
Knowing the difference between the two can help to give you the tools to fight loneliness as you can begin to understand what factors are under your own control and what ones are not.
Knowing that you can have influence over some things along such as your behavior and experiences can make a big difference in beginning your fight against loneliness.
Take on the Tough Habits
Once you have gotten to the point that you can acknowledge your loneliness and the isolation it can cause, you can begin to look at where those feelings come from and form an action plan in doing some self-care and making sure you start engaging in better social behavior.
Creating a plan that addresses the isolation issues you are dealing with and moving forward step by step to take them on is the best way to go.
Each step you master will become part of your new behavior and you can use it in your arsenal against further loneliness and social isolation.
Once you get comfortable in the early steps then you can move forward with the next step in your plan, slowly building to a place where you find comfort and peace with others.
Put Others First
When people are lonely, they tend to get bogged down with inward focusing thoughts.
It becomes about poor self-worth and bad self-esteem.
Thoughts can be overwhelming about why you are stuck in a rut and people are not engaging with you.
It can become very cyclical in nature as your thoughts bring you down and isolate you and then the isolation becomes the issue that is fuelling the negative thoughts.
If you can see beyond yourself, that will be a big help in moving out of the realm of loneliness.
Whether the people you engage with old or new relationships, focusing on them rather than yourself can do so much better with combatting loneliness.
Focusing on someone else means you do not have the time to be worried about what everyone’s impression of you is.
You get away from thinking about your insecurities and engaging with someone else.
By doing this, you will find you will not feel the pressure of what you see as your imperfections and how they are perceived by others.
It will slow the negative self-talk while making another person feel better and open to talking.
Building these relationships from the ground up means you will start to have people around you who want to spend time with you and enjoy your company.
This is the perfect way of stopping the cycle of isolation and loneliness.
Ask about their lives, their likes, their hobbies.
Being engaging and curious is a wonderful way to have a positive impact on building a relationship be it, family or friend.
The Bonus of Technology
As you get older, social circles change.
Loneliness is not such an issue when you are a child.
It can happen but chances are most children have a group of friends or at least one close one.
They also have family in close proximity while they are growing up.
Once you are done high school though, things can substantially change.
You may graduate and go away to school, get a new job, move cities, move out on your own, or your social group may leave.
The older you get the more your social circle of family and friends will spread out as people need to make changes in their lives to suit what they are pursuing.
It is hard not to become lonely as those relationships change over time.
The difference now thought over even 15 years ago is technology.
The digital age has done wonders in helping us stay in touch with others who are far away.
Its easier to reach out when we are lonely and feeling like we need to hear a friendly voice or see someone’s smile.
You can chat online, use video conferencing, facetime on your phone, email, text or Snapchat.
There are so many great digital platforms that can work.
These platforms are easy to learn so even the grandma and grandpas in the crowd can make sure they are able to stay in touch when they can not get out as much as they used to.
Digital communication is opening the doors of imagination and fantasies to convenience and accessibility for those who may not have it in person.
Most of these platforms are free so as long as you have your phone and internet you will be set to go.
On the downside of technology, you just need to be careful that it does not become more isolating.
You want to use to enhance relationships rather than become a relationship.
While digital platforms are great, they need to be an extra not the core of your relationship.
It is easy to hide behind a keyboard or a screen rather than face people in person.
While the internet makes communication easy, many people who are lonely may feel they are still not getting the deep connections they need to combat loneliness.
It is great for catching up and being in touch with those far away, but if it is not followed up with other forms of connecting then the loneliness will not be something that goes away any time soon.
Give Back
When you are struggling with loneliness sometimes it helps to give back to others.
You just need to find a volunteer opportunity that you will enjoy, and feel is beneficial for you and those you are helping.
Heading out to assist with others may make your goal of not being socially isolated easier to attain.
It can be beneficial for you while helping others.
You will meet new people, build new relationships, find others who are like-minded all while supporting a group that means something to you.
You will feel better mentally, emotionally and physically while being less stressed and much more confident.
You may find it feels somewhat inspiring to give back to those around you.
There a lot of opportunities to volunteer and there will be one or two that will appeal to what you enjoy.
Just do a bit of research, see what the group or person needs and then you can assess how best to help.
It will be great for you and your community.
Join a Group, Class or Service Club
When you are struggling to make meaningful social connections to fight loneliness, you can look at joining various clubs or take some classes.
If you find something you are interested in, then you can pick a class and join in to find out more.
Learning should be a lifelong experience that makes you feel great and keeps your mind sharp.
It is another good way to meet other people who have something in common with you.
Surrounding yourself with people who are somewhat similar in interests, can lead to conversations that lead to more flourishing friendships.
Those people may be more encouraging for you to join in and be part of a more vibrant social lifestyle.
Slow but Steady
While this list of things you can do is not overly complicated, the sooner you can start the faster you will begin to feel more engaged with others.
That does not mean you have to do them all at once.
If you are able to take small steps and work on each one as you can then you may be able to start to work on changing your thought patterns for the better.
These steps will begin to take you to a new place where you can reengage with people around you, feel better and work towards not having to fall back into loneliness again.
It also creates a healthy support system that will come to your aid should you fall back into the feeling of isolation and loneliness.
Creating healthy relationships that you can rely on is both in the short term and long term is the right method to fight loneliness.
Buy Drugs and Alcohol
When we talk about finding methods of dealing with loneliness and overcoming it, some turn to drugs and alcohol to alleviate those feelings.
Unfortunately, that way of going is not healthy, nor will it solve the problem.
By using drugs and alcohol as a perceived solution, you are actually making the loneliness worse.
Many drugs and especially alcohol is a depressant and while you may feel less stress taking them, they will eventually make you feel worse and even less interested in engaging with others.
Over drinking in public can be embarrassing and make you withdraw even further if you feel awkward with your behavior.
Aside from not helping with the isolation issues, drugs and alcohol can negatively affect your mental, emotional and physical health even more than it already was with the loneliness.
What was once one problem now becoming multiplied and you are dealing with issues on more than one front.
If you feel compelled to buy drugs and alcohol in the hopes of lessening your loneliness, do not be fooled.
It will do you no favors.
Escape into work
Whether you are escaping loneliness doing it through work, none of these approaches are healthy.
Work can be similar to drugs and alcohol simply because it is another thing masking the actual problem.
You are deflecting the feelings of isolation and loneliness by putting your energy elsewhere, so you do not have to deal with the actual problem.
While having worked as a getaway, it does solve anything if you are not engaging with people.
Your work relationships are simply surface ones if all you do is work and never engage on any other level with people.
The old adage that everything should be done in moderation goes for work as well.
Getting to work early and leaving late simple will exacerbate your feelings of being alone.
Find a happy medium or start to engage on a social level with coworkers to balance your work life out.
Look for a good book
While reading a good book is a great way to get your mind off loneliness and find a life in the pages of the story, it can become problematic if that is all you do in your spare time.
Many people love to read but when it keeps you from engaging with others then it is problematic.
If you love to read but also need to work on becoming more socially active, maybe you can find a book club nearby.
It’s a great way to be able to read some good books and enjoy the temporary escape but then it becomes even better when you get to share the book and talk about it with others.
You get the best of both worlds.
You can enjoy your solitude knowing that there will be a time in the end when you get to engage with others and join in a good group activity with people who enjoy the same thing as you.
Escape into a Virtual World
Escaping into anything to avoid the reality of loneliness is never great.
However, the virtual world may help if you are able to use it to engage with others online.
This does not mean it is all you do to communicate but if you are a gamer or are talking online then it’s a step to engaging with other people.
Once again it has to be a happy medium.
Online all the time is only going to help you avoid people in the real world and the loneliness that comes with it.
If you are online for a healthy amount of time, then talking and engaging with others may help you feel more comfortable in talking and learning to enjoy other companies again.
You create an online support system.
It is just important to make sure that it is done in moderation so as not to forget there is are a real world out there waiting for you to engage again.
