Loneliness is a feeling that leaves a person feeling very detached from society and alone. They search escape.
For some its minor blip in their life and it will quickly pass, with others, it is a chronic problem that leaves them fighting a battle for normalcy every day.
The battle to not feel lonely is hard sometimes and rather than dealing with it head-on, many can try to lessen the effects of loneliness by using alcohol or drugs to numb it.
The difficulty with this temporary fix is that it can become a permanent problem.
Drug and alcohol addiction can become a very real thing with those who are lonely and finding a way to address the addiction as well as the loneliness takes a lot of hard work.
Addictions and the Lonely
Loneliness is something no one enjoys experiencing especially when it is chronic.
All of us go through bouts of short term loneliness here and there but for those who are truly struggling with loneliness as a long term issue its difficult to even see the light of hope at the end of the tunnel.
While there are various things that can be done to work towards alleviating loneliness, some people feel they can take it into their own hands and begin to self medicate with alcohol and drugs.
The ongoing use of these things can be the formation of addiction which begins the cycle of loneliness, addiction, to more loneliness.
Addictions itself is a terribly lonely disease that will only make the loneliness itself become exacerbated.
When loneliness and addiction are affecting an individual you can get 2 different problems.
You can get someone who becomes the wild party animal who is looking to use the drugs and alcohol to be more sociable and to get support out in the world or you get the one who is ha gone the opposite way and is using various chemicals to replace the deeper relationships they are missing in their life.
But no matter which end of the addiction spectrum you study when looking at the effects of loneliness and addiction, you will find all addicts are caught in a situation of feeling extremely isolated from real relationships with any depth.
When someone is feeling so lonely and isolated, they can be overcome with depression and anxiety.
This can lead to trying to find relief either in a bottle of liquor, a batch of pills or with a needle.
The problem that occurs when this happens is that while the substance might feel good in the moment, it is only going to be more destructive in the long term.
When a lonely person finds they are beginning to develop an addiction, whether they can name what it is or not, they tend to start becoming more withdrawn, alone and unable to engage on an emotional level.
The continuing use of these destructive elements can lead to further loneliness as the addictions begin to ruin relationships, push away family and peer support.
It becomes a cyclical spiral of loneliness, addiction and more extensive loneliness.
The relationship priority becomes between the drug and the user instead of the user and other people.
Self Medicating
While everyone feels down, anxious or alone at some point in their lives, it becomes truly problematic when those feelings last for a long time.
Many people do not want to approach their family doctor about the things they might be feeling so they look for other ways to reduce the pain and anxiety.
Unfortunately, self-medication with drugs and alcohol is a way people often do this.
These substances are chosen because they do the job of temporarily sidetracking the person from whatever discomfort they are feeling at the time.
The problem with using drugs and alcohol as an escape is that they only hold off those negative feelings for a short time and then make us feel worse when they wear off.
Abuse of substances take away any good feelings that were left before the use and then bring the user even further down as many of these substances are depressants.
The Prevalence of Loneliness
Cigna Health did recent research that looked into the connections between loneliness, illness, health failure and death.
The results that came out of this study were really quite sad.
The research found that a person who is chronically lonely will suffer the same effects on their health as if they had been smoking up 15 cigarettes every day.
The effects of loneliness on your health is so detrimental, it seems to be worse than obesity.
Loneliness is growing and affecting more people through out every subsequent generation.
Social isolation and more so loneliness, are significant contributors to those who have addiction issues.
Numerous studies reflect that if a person is socially isolated or has no strong ties to others, they are more prone to having both mental health problems and/or substance abuse issues.
It is similar to the chicken and the egg problem.
There is often no clear line of which came first.
It could be the addiction issue which leads to withdrawal from society or withdrawal from society that brought on the addiction problems.
It is a cycle that is very hard to stop as the person who is suffering is often isolated and can only bring change through personal acknowledgement of the issue or an intervention by family and friends.
The Health Consequences of Being Lonely
Loneliness is an issue can affect every part of the body if it is an ongoing problem.
It affects your mental, emotional and physical health in negative ways.
The issues include substance abuse as well as:
- Antisocial behavior
- Poor decision-making abilities
- Possible premature death
- Depression and possible suicide
- High-stress levels
- Poor memory
- Poor cognitive function
- High blood pressure
- Poor immune system health
- Higher chance of coronary heart disease
- Stroke
- The onset of Alzheimer’s disease
- Change in brain function
- Abuse of drugs, alcohol and cigarettes
This is an extremely long list of detrimental consequences of being lonely and because we are intrinsically driven to be social, losing that aspect of our humanity is problematic.
We depend on others and them on us.
To be forced to be alone or to feel alone in a crowd means our whole body reacts.
We need to have a connection, social circles and support systems.
We need meaningful relationships, or we simply struggle to find life meaningful.
We end up filling the void with harmful things such as drugs and alcohol.
So, we have to not only fight loneliness but the addictions that may come with it.
Fighting Addiction and Loneliness with Social Support
We know social support is critical to remaining in a healthy relationship with society and our companions.
Being embraced into a social group makes us feel welcomed, worthwhile, loved and connected with something bigger than ourselves.
It is the connection that is the most important as you can be part of a group and still feel lonely if you have no strong social link.
It is the connections you build with others that keep you from feeling socially isolated.
Addiction comes into play when those who are lonely or socially disconnected use drugs and alcohol to try and find the same feelings they find in social groups.
They are trying to fill that social void in their lives.
But this usually leads to further isolation as they either withdraw or are such a mess there is no way to integrate with others due to the addiction issues.
To fight these addictions and loneliness, the addict needs to find social support.
They need it for:
- Self-worth – Every human being needs to feel like they are needed.Without being needed we have no way to feel any personal value.We have no sense of purpose and end up wandering through life simply trying to alleviate our discomfort from feeling unimportant and unappreciated.We want to be friends with people and feel loved.We do not need a huge social circle to have self-worth but there needs to be some social structure that gives us a sense of purpose and a feeling of connection.
It is very difficult to have self worth when there is not interactions to verify it.
- Repairing our emotional and mental health – The need to combat loneliness requires us to build healthy relationships.The support of family or even just a few friends can help us feel better about ourselves.If we are on medications such as antidepressants or antianxiety, their ability to work is actually enhanced by the support of a social group be it family and friends or a bit of both.Compassionate and loving touch is important as well for these emotional and mental repairs.Hugs make your body release oxycontin that then goes to the brain.
This release essential in calming the center that controls fear.
It also makes you feel well.
These relationships can help a person work on their addictions as they can fill their time with people rather than substances.
It will not end someone’s addiction, but it may give them a reason to fight back and work at getting it under control.
Taking the Good and Leaving the Bad
We harp on the fact that we need to be physically well if we want to live our longest life possible, however, in reality, it is not our physical well being that is going to play the biggest role.
It is going to be our social support systems and the good relationships we build through them.
Without these social bridges, we have nothing and every part of our body spirals into having issues.
This is proven time and time again by those who study addictions that people need people, or they get into trouble.
Gabor Mate and other addiction specialists often talk about how loneliness and lack of connection are intrinsically tied to addictions and that it is not all about genetics and self control.
They use a well-known rat experiment that was conducted with the intent to prove drugs were addictive and killed.
The rats were kept in a cage that had a bottle of water with cocaine in it.
The rats drank the cocaine water until they died due to the high number of drugs in their systems.
While those who conducted this experiment used it to say drugs get you addicted and then kill you, it was felt the study was flawed and that was not really what it was proving.
Researcher Bruce Alexander from Simon Fraser University set out to prove something else.
He redid the rat experiment but changed a variable in it.
He changed the scenario of the cage.
When the first experiment was conducted, the rats were alone in a cage.
No other rats, no toys, nothing to engage them.
In the new cage, they had lots to do.
Tunnels, toys, other rats.
What happened this time? Nothing.
No rats were drinking the cocaine laced water to the point of death.
The point that Alexander and Mate were able to show was it was not the substance that caused the addiction, it was the social aspect.
Being alone made them addicts.
So, addicted they died.
So technically they died from loneliness.
When the rat was happy and with others, the addiction did not occur.
Once again, we must defeat loneliness if we are to stave off addictions.
Fighting addictions has to come on two different fronts.
The feelings of loneliness need to be addressed as do the addictions themselves.
Once there is a strong social system in place then it will be easier to tackle any substance abuse issues.
Working on addictions is extremely hard even with a social support system so without one it is almost impossible to do.
If you or a loved one has addiction issues that stem from loneliness, then a social support system has to be put into place.
Reach out and ask for help or offer help if you can.
