If you are going to write to a girl for the first time, there are two main things that will make your message stand out.
Finding something you have in common, and then having a conversation about it.
Girls love to hear that a guy is interested in them and it isn’t all about looks.
They want someone to connect with and who likes some of the same things they do.
Once the flirting and light banter has run its course, you want to start a genuine conversation that takes things to the next level.
Writing a great first message is the way to get the conversation going.
Our Tips to Write a Great Message to Her
The best way to start things off when you are going to send your first messages to a girl is to be interested in her and ask a question.
She will be impressed that you took the time to ask and care about her opinion.
A question rather than a statement gets her to engage with you and answer and maybe feel like she can ask you something as well.
The thing about a nice and genuine first message is that in the world of online dating and relationships, girls are looking for someone who isn’t going to scare them off.
A simple, nice message stands out in a sea of bad ones.
- The first tip to a good first message is quality not the number of words.Girls know when you’re just trying to make an easy pick-up and that you’ve probably sent the same message to a bunch of different girls.Finding a common interest between the two of you means you have a better chance of getting a response since the message is tailored to the girl rather than a mass mailing out to anyone that will answer.
Take the time to figure out if you see some common threads between you and that will show her you aren’t just trying for a quick answer from just anyone.
- The second tip is to make sure your message addresses those interests you have in common or something about her personality you think you like.You obviously won’t know a lot as this is the first message, but you will have either met her at some point or looked at her profile on a site if you are messaging her.This is better than talking about her looks which comes across as superficial.
- Make your conversation starter more than a simple “Whatsup?”. That isn’t a conversation starter.There is nothing to it and it could be meant for anyone.It is meaningless for the most part.
If you can’t think of something more original, then don’t bother because chances are you are going to be ignored if you send this bland sort of text.
You want your first message to turn into a longer conversation, so you need to make your opening more dynamic.
If you pick a topic that you can both relate to, then you have opened the door to a conversation that you will both enjoy and prolong.
Use questions not statements as statements can simply hang in an awkward space with nowhere to go.
- Don’t make it complicated. You want to ask a question or two not bombard her with so many questions she becomes rattled.Its overwhelming and too intense if you are just peppering her with questions.Simply ask a few simple questions that aren’t hard to respond to and then pick a detail out of her answer and keep the conversation going with another question or two.
Keeping the first conversation light and easy-going will help her feel comfortable and looking forward to more messaging with you.
- Make sure it is short and sweet. Your initial message should be something that shows you are interested and want to get to know her.You want to highlight something you have in common as well as introduce yourself in a subtle way.A few lines or short paragraph is great. It doesn’t need to be a novel-length message.
You certainly don’t want to come on too strong. You want her to come back to you with some interest and questions about you.
A short message will make sure she is not only interested but curious as well.
- Don’t go overboard. When you write too much, ask too many questions, answer intensely or bug her repeatedly for an answer, you come across as desperate.These behaviors will scare a girl off and you will never get beyond your first message.Be patient and genuinely interested rather than intensely overboard in your attention.
- This can be a big winner. While some girls aren’t fussy, some will be turned off by poor grammar and spelling simply because they see it as you can’t be bothered to make the effort to make a good impression.You don’t have to be an English major to write something, you just need a good spell checker to make sure you don’t have glaring errors.It only takes a few seconds to do this and can make a great first impression when you send that first message.
It will help you note stand out for a good reason, not because you couldn’t be bothered to fix it.
