For making love, it’s always more convenient to be in the same room, except when it’s a long-distance love. Sometimes life keeps us apart. But that doesn’t mean that sex and long-distance relationships should be separated. Is virtual sex possible? How to use sex 2.0.
In spite of the distance, are we going to break a love so beautiful and so strong? Not at all. There are solutions to make your relationship last, even for couples separated by distance. And the physical separation, chosen or suffered, does not prevent the libido from being triggered. On the contrary. In the age of networks, even if the virtual does not replace the real, it has the merit of spicing up the sex life, as long as you know how to dose it. Words and recipes from experts.
Sexfies for virtual sex
A basic rule of thumb: trust in the recipient. Receiving a “who is?” in response to a photo of your kidneys falling out has the same effect on your ego as a rusty nail in a tire. Moreover, if in “sexfie“, there is “sex“, there is not “porn“: we do not send the dessert before the appetizers. No fully naked picture, under a harsh light, we opt rather for a visual striptease or for a hot picture, but in backlight.
Mastering sexting for a long-distance relationship
We always loved making love on the phone: I would call him in the middle of the day at the bank branch where he works, pretending to be one of his customers to the operator, to whisper naughty things that put us in all our states.
A classic of long-distance eroticism, phone sex requires a minimum of tact. The fantasy of the surprise, which has caused as much ink to flow as tears, is the source of more embarrassing misunderstandings than pleasure parties: in real life, the other person may want to finish his soccer game/lunch/mass with his quiet great-aunt, rather than croak dirty things in front of witnesses, with his hand in a cone on the telephone speaker (“But if my love, I bite you everywhere too, uh, I’m going through a tunnel, here”).
So that this moment is a shared pleasure, and not a future subject of yelling (“Coming from a guy who prefers Ibrahimović to my breasts, it doesn’t surprise me at all that you’re not able to organize Christmas!”), we avoid Sunday lunchtimes when he’s having lunch with his mother, the evenings of a match or Monday mornings, and call him in the middle of the evening, in the quiet, before the storm.
Of course, one can – one must! – lie during the act, especially if you are in pyjamas in front of Netflix rather than in a garter belt in front of the living room fireplace. The phone is an opportunity to blow the lid off your modesty: the distance and the absence of eye contact allow you to let go more, and to give free rein to your desires.
Another option, more geeky, to chat by voice messages. The same principle as instant messengers like iMessage (iOS), WhatsApp or Cord (on iOS and Android), except that you talk briefly – less than a minute per message – instead of writing to each other. One last, fundamental thing: having sex via FaceTime is always a bad idea. See the face he’s got behind the front door peephole when he rings the bell? Well, there you go.
How to make love at a distance by skype?
Before anything else, we check that the door is locked if we don’t live alone… Unlike phone sex, “Skype sex” requires a minimum of staging so as not to turn into the porn version of “The Blair Witch Project”, a horror film shot with a handheld camera where the actors all have a complexion of rhinopharyngitis for readers born after 1990.
Without wearing a lot of makeup, you can open up your eyes with a few coats of mascara and hide your dark circles, which the video camera tends to highlight. You create a sexy light ambiance, and you stand in front of the screen exactly as if you were interviewing Ryan Gosling: full of self-confidence, back straight, back arched, teasing but not starving. And of course, in case of network failure, you don’t kick your Internet box and complain, with your face wrinkled like an origami, under penalty of never finding the black boxes of your libido.
Watching porn for long-distance sex
On synchronized sharing sites, such as Together-Tube (in English), you can share YouTube or Vimeo videos, but also your own X-rated movies. If you choose this option, don’t forget to delete the work after viewing, to avoid ending up in the IRL remake of the film “Sex Tape“, with Cameron Diaz. More cautious, the ephemeral video, streaming or via a dedicated app, you can broadcast live, and in private, what you are filming, and the video is deleted after twenty-four hours.
Geeky lovers can also share mini-videos on Vine, six seconds max, or on Snapchat, which has the advantage of not storing any content. In any case, you shouldn’t force your naturalness: if you are more Angel than a lace-up garter, you don’t turn into a Marc Dorcel muse with all the hissing and the mouth like a vacuum cleaner hose. First, because it’s the Coke of eroticism, then because it’s not your zygotic that you’re trying to stimulate, you see?
Check Our Loneliness Guide
