Many BDSM enthusiasts with experience in this kink will hate me for saying this, but 50 Shades of Gray did a great job normalizing the bondage fantasy.
Before that, everyone was thinking about it, but people weren’t too comfortable sharing this desire, not even with their partners.
The books and the movies have shown women that BDSM is not only about the pleasure of the man to dominate.
It’s also satisfying to submit to your partner.
Although it’s more common in a relationship for the woman to be tied up and the man to play the role of the master, there are many couples in which the fantasy is the other way around.
Let’s explore the wonderful world of bondage and dom/sub games.
The Fantasy: To be tied up and have sex
Being tied up in the bedroom is called bondage, and it’s what the B in BDSM stands for (Bondage, Domination, Sadism, Masochism).
Naturally, for bondage sex you need a partner.
When the partner who is tied up is a woman, the whole adventure is called male domination.
When the man is the one being tied up, we are talking about female domination, or femdom.
Although it’s quite popular, men don’t usually get tied up by their wives or girlfriends.
Most femdom is done by professionals, who are called dominatrices and who are basically escorts men pay to dominate them.
We’re not going to talk about that in this article.
We will focus more on male domination, in which the girl is the one who is tied up by her partner, in the intimacy of their own relationship.
Here are some things you need to know about this fantasy before you start experimenting with it.
First, let’s talk about the psychological mechanisms that make this fantasy so enjoyable.
The thrills will be felt by both partners.
On the one hand, the dominant partner gets to feel power over the one who is tied up.
As we all know, power always feels good.
But at the same time, the one that’s being tied up will feel a unique kind of sexual satisfaction.
Giving up control over our bodies and letting ourselves tied up simulates a sensation of danger, which in turn floods our bodies and brains with adrenaline.
And that rush combined with sexual gratification makes orgasms even more intense.
That is why bondage sex is always louder.
If you’ve never had bondage sex before and you want to try it, or if you did and you want to improve your technique, here’s what you need.
First of all, you will need rope. A lot of it.
And don’t go cheap on the rope you buy.
If you choose a rope that is too thin, you risk leaving nasty bruises on your partner’s skin.
Nylon rope is also known to leave rashes.
Go for a soft material that’s at least as thick as a pen.
Although you can find good rope at Home Depot or other stores, it’s always a good idea to get your bondage rope from the sex shop.
And while you’re there, you can also buy some toys that can be easily included in this fantasy.
More about sex toys later.
Once you get the rope, it’s time to go home and search some bondage tutorials.
Although it might look easy in porn or in movies, tying someone up properly is not a piece of cake.
The bondage techniques for men and women differ.
What I always recommend when it comes to learning your knots is practicing on your partner in a non-sexual manner.
Have them wear a tight T-shirt and yoga pants and go through a series of knots and ties with no sexual intentions. Why do this?
Well, because if you experiment with tying someone up for the first time in a sexual encounter and you don’t know what you’re doing, you will blow up the mood.
Training before the actual bondage sex also builds trust between partners.
Now that you know some of the basic bondage techniques, it’s time to try them in the real deal.
Tying your partner up is a form of foreplay, so make sure not to ignore them while you work the ropes.
Kiss them or if you go for a naughtier session, talk dirty to them.
Cares their erogenous zones and build up sexual tension while tying them up.
Once you have them tied up, it’s time to experiment with bondage sex.
There are so many forms and fantasies that can be combined in these experiences.
First of all, you can just have sex.
Changing positions will be a bit more complicated, so make sure to think it through before you tie your partner up.
But besides regular anal, vaginal and oral sex pleasure, you can also play some games.
There’s one bondage activity that I think all couples can experiment with.
It’s called orgasm torture, and it’s different for men and women.
When the one that’s tied up is a man, the orgasm torture is called edging.
Basically, is arousing the partner and bringing them to the edge of climax just to stop and deny him the gratification of the orgasm.
By doing this several times, not only that you will feel power over your partner, but when you finally allow him to fully reach climax, his orgasm will be much more intense.
On the other hand, orgasm torture for ladies is different.
Here we’re taking advantage of the woman’s ability to have multiple orgasms.
For efficient results, I recommend using a vibrator.
My recommendation is a Magic Wand.
Here’s what you want to do.
Once the girl is tied up, you start pleasing her clitoris with the powerful vibrator.
And once the first orgasm kicks in, you keep doing that.
The sensitivity of the clitoris is much higher after the first orgasm, and although she will get another one, she will beg you to stop.
And you don’t stop.
Not until you hear the safe word.
Talking about the safe word, here are some safety tips you need to know before having bondage sex.
You probably know what a safe word is and how to use it.
It’s basically the word that when it’s shout, everything stops.
The number one rule of bondage sex is always to respect the safe word.
Maybe you include some impact play in your fantasy.
Maybe the orgasms you give here are unbearable.
Once your partner says the safe word, you break out of your dominating character and make sure they are ok.
Another safety measure is to have scissors close by so that you can untie them in case of emergency.
But always use rounded tipped scissors.
Never use pointy scissors because in emergency cases, you risk stabbing your partner by mistake.
Another golden rule of bondage sex is never to tie around the neck.
And make sure you’re doing this while you’re home alone.
The moaning and the screaming can get pretty loud, and if your partner is tied up when someone enters the house, they can’t simply jump up and put clothes on them.
This is just the basics of bondage sex fantasies.
The world of bondage sex can take so many forms and shapes.
You’ll learn more about bondage over time because the fantasy is pretty addictive.
Once you try it, you will surely want to take it to the next level.
Enjoy bondage sex responsibly!
