Having sex in front of another person is not everybody’s idea of having great sex. However, some people get a major thrill out of having sex in front of other people.
It is a great turn on knowing that the others are watching and is probably getting horny watching you!
However, there is no conclusive reason why some of us have that streak.
It could be that exhibitionist nature in you that stems from the fact that you are actually an introvert but want to become an out and out extrovert.
Fantasizing is the first step towards this. After all, fantasy means to let the mind roam free- nobody can restrict that!
The Fantasy: Have Sex in Front of Other People
As I get out of my car, I ask myself what the heck I’m doing here as I walk into the lobby of the grand hotel.
I can see my reflection in every glass panel in the lobby.
I am looking good.
And energetic.
I realize that I haven’t seen Jane in over 4 weeks!
However, I know that we were not going to whisper sweet nothings or make small talk.
I step into the room and hug her and our eager hands quickly run over each other, systematically peeling the clothing away.
Soon enough she pulls out the condom and I am in it.
Like two new teenage lovers, we go about enchanting each other and cherishing our bodies.
Like two new lovers do, we cling to each other after we are done, not wanting to really let go.
Only, we are not lovers in the classical sense.
We just might get in touch with each other over text messages in the next couple of weeks.
And we would get in touch only to schedule another meeting- to have sex.
Otherwise, I am a happily married man.
I had actually dreamt of monogamy
When I met the woman I eventually married, all we expected from each other was just a lot of fun and nothing beyond friendship.
Obviously, we were attracted to each other like a magnetic pull but marriage was never an option.
Somehow things didn’t go as visualized and we quickly developed a wonderful and deep bond.
We fell for each other.
And got married.
And I thought I should let go of my sexual flings and partners for good.
We both fell into the act of monogamy which was not actually my cup of tea.
But then I thought that the institution of marriage warranted it since we were building a life together and we might have family and things.
To top it all we had great sex and very frequently too.
We were both at our best when we frankly discussed our problems and fantasies.
We talked about our sexual escapades and sexual history and it never put us off.
We even watched porn together.
The fact that we had both seen many partners did not put us off a wee bit.
We even toyed with the idea of having other partners but that was soon given up because we thought it wasn’t natural and, therefore, a bad choice.
More so because most of the previous girlfriends I’d had abhorred the idea of even talking about sex with other girls.
This created a psyche in me that girls expected you to be monogamous.
Love requires me to be so and I would need to forget about having sex with anybody other than my wife!
Uncomfortable first time!
After about half a dozen years of our married life had gone by, the topic of swinging came out again, right out of the blue, one lazy afternoon.
This time around we spoke about it at length and after going over it for over a couple of weeks we thought that we should give it a try.
So, we created online profiles and began to chat!
However, we soon realized that finding a couple that met our tastes and desires was going to be a tough task.
It would take a hell of a lot of effort more than we thought it would.
Obviously, it was far more different- and difficult- than dating.
Since we were not making any headway but we had set out on a mission, we decided to do something and finally settled for a single girl.
Shortlisting her was another tough task and in the end, we found someone who we thought would fit the bill.
Our first try turned out to be uncomfortable and nearly disastrous.
Our next attempt got a little better and the two of us developed something akin to jealousy- short bursts of jealousy.
However, these pangs soon wound up because the arousal we experienced overwhelmed us.
Our craving for each other only became more pronounced and wild.
Perhaps due to the fact that the two of us had always been thrilled with each other’s pleasure, we found the going good.
It really didn’t bother us that pleasure was being derived from a third person.
We quickly learned that watching each other gave us unrestrained joy and actually enhanced our mutual desire!
Initially, we were quite confused by this unforeseen development.
However, over a short period of time, we realized that the reaction made perfect sense to us.
After all, our sharing and our commitment to each other did not feel the least bit at risk or threatened by our interactions and relationship with others.
We realized, too, that ever since we tied the knot, we were never affected by our attraction to friends, colleagues or others who shared life with us, In fact, it never ever affected our mutual feelings or our immense desire for one another.
In spite of our diametrically opposite interests in life, together, we found the going great.
It did not hamper our marriage- on the contrary, the relationship only became stronger.
Therefore, we thought that when we could share so many of our pleasures with other people, sexual pleasures too could be shared on a similar basis.
That clinched the issue and we had no problems whatsoever, thereafter.
Steering an open marriage
Our sex life was not governed by any particular cycle or scientific inputs.
When she met a guy without me in a hotel for the first time, I went nuts with every passing minute.
I just could not relax, not knowing what to expect.
My eyes were glued to my watch as the minutes ticked by.
It was like living in a furnace.
Similarly, when I visited a couple at their residence and stayed the whole day, she was totally annoyed.
Perhaps only because she had not foreseen me staying over the whole day.
Eventually, we got over these things.
These experiences only made us wiser.
They taught us to give ourselves more time- or rather give each other enough time to make things work for us.
Eventually, it also taught us that although we had sex with others, we valued each other just like we did before.
Nothing else took superiority over our own relationship.
We respected and cared for each other all the more.
At times, however, we did have our own doubts.
And questions like “Is it really okay with you?
” cropped up.
Our usual banter was replaced with doubts and questions about our morality.
And sanity.
We still think twice when we sometimes have to tell lies to our grown-up kids regarding our ‘outings’.
I feel we should stop asking ourselves questions and focus on life and its enjoyment.
I also remember like every true human being does that I was raised in a society where monogamy was the default rule.
My wife was expected to be monogamous.
But then, it is our life and this was our choice.
So we need to live with it. Accept it. And enjoy it.
Indulging in our belief without resentment
It is one of those days when I relentlessly and guiltlessly think of Jane.
How we could spend the entire day enveloped in sex and nothing else.
Rolling in each other’s arms, naked, on the bed, on the floor, wherever.
I imagine going back home at night and the thought only increases my enjoyment.
When I think of all the things my wife whispered to me last night, I feel happy.
She particularly mentioned that I should enjoy everything to the hilt.
Each time we have sex with another, getting back home is a great feeling.
It is a feeling of belonging, of celebration.
Celebrating the freedom to indulge ourselves.
Indulging ourselves in sexual pleasure with total freedom instead of fear.
This independence from fear is the absolutely best takeaway from our open marriage.
And both of us are happier and richer by it.
